On The Rebound

 

Since Krys has joined us on this blog I figured I might as well get the story of Rebound over with. I’m going to try to make it fit into one post, but it may be a bit long.

Rebound was my best friend in high school. Looking back on it, I realize that he wasn’t the great guy that I remember him being. My vision on it all was a bit cloudy. He was my closest friend and I spent a lot of time with him, but I didn’t really know him as well as I thought I did. Of course, there were clues, but I ignored all that. The biggest clue of all should’ve been the way he played with my emotions.

He was my friend and I expected nothing more than that. Throughout majority of our friendship he was dating the same girl. I didn’t like her, but I had my reasons and they were valid. But he was in love and I figured I would let him make his own mistakes. She didn’t like me either. And then there was the fact that I was sleeping with her man. I’m not actually sure how that came to be, but it happened. A few times. And it was great, and I fell head over heels. Stupid. He was my friend, but he never attempted to become more than that, other than the occasional sex.

So life goes on. He graduates and goes into the military and moves away. I basically never hear from him again after his last visit home. His mom passed away that year and he had no more family in the area. Sure, I thought about him from time to time and wondered how he was doing, but that was it. And then one day I get a friend request from Facebook and it his him. OMG. Talk about excited. I accepted and it was like all this time never passed. He was the same guy I could talk to about anything. And dammit, he had moved back into the city.

This was during the end of my relationship with Daniel. Rebound was there for me to vent to. I told him the things that I didn’t tell Ty. He was supportive through it all and made it clear that he wanted me out of that relationship. He said it was going to end badly and he didn’t want me hurt or worse. I knew this was true, but how was I going to support my kids on my own? I never had time to think about it. Daniel attacked me one day with a knife and it was over. I had my cell phone in my hand and called 911 as soon as I realized the fight was getting out of hand. The police were the ones to get him out of the house. I never let him back in.

That was a horrible day. I cried all over Ty and Rebound came by later and I cried all over him and then some. Huge mistake. What do I end up doing? I jump from a relationship with Daniel into a kinda relationship with Rebound. I forgot to mention he was back in the city, but he was also back with her, his high school sweetheart. He made up all sorts of excuses about how it was convenient and they weren’t even close anymore. He wanted out, but needed to make sure she would be able to support herself first. She had three children (none of which were his) and just one job.

I was just fresh out of my relationship and unsure of where I was going so this was okay for me, for a while anyway. He was still there for me to talk to and he would visit every now and then. I was okay. But things started changing. He didn’t call anymore and had little time to talk to me. He was lying to me and I was catching him at it. He wasn’t very good at it. I was getting a very bad feeling about him and Ty was like “forget his ass”. But this was the guy that I was so close to at one point in time and I started making excuses for him myself. He was a damn jerk towards me but then he would plan these great weekends for us. Took me a while to realize that I was paying for most of it myself. Stupid.

I had started to get smart and I stopped calling him. It was time to move on and I tried my best. I started dating other people. Went on a few dates here and there. He would call me every few days asking me why I was ignoring him. Gave me a sense of power. I liked it. But I was sure there was no future for us and I needed to just forget about him. And then he shocked the hell out of me. He dumped the girl. (Now that I’ve gotten to know him better, I’m thinking she kicked him out.) So he ended up staying with me for a while. Stupid again.

He wasn’t there long. When I let him move in he told me that he had planned on leaving. He wanted to be with me, but he needed to go visit with his son for a little while. His son lives in Nevada with his mother and it’s been a while since he was able to visit with him.  Story sounded okay, but it rubbed me the wrong way. The couple of weeks he was with me were okay. He already knew my kids and they got along great. But he definitely didn’t act like a man who wanted to be with me. He went out most nights and came back only after I was asleep.

He booked a flight to Nevada on his own. I questioned the trip. I didn’t know how he was going to get there and I was not going to be out of pocket anything. His place of employment had closed down so he had been without a job for a couple of months. No, I wasn’t supporting him other than giving him a place to stay. But he planned his trip and he was real excited about it. He packed his things. And when he packed, he packed everything. He wasn’t coming back. I was certain. He said otherwise, but I knew he was lying. I figured he was just trying to get back with his baby’s momma.

He tried sneaking off when he finally left, but that didn’t work. He actually tried leaving without telling me. He had tried to get me to take him to Atlanta, cause that was where he wanted to fly out of. I refused. I was in no mood to finance a trip to Atlanta. He tells me that he thought I didn’t care so he was just leaving. He found a ride and they were ready to leave right then. I should’ve paid more attention when I told him good-bye. He left my house and took my laptop with him. Talk about pissed. He tried convincing me that he didn’t take it and it was still at the house, but I know where I keep my things and so do my children. It was definitely over. I wanted nothing else to do with him.

But FB brought him right back into my life. Turns out there was another female that he was courting. I wouldn’t have cared, but dammit, it was my cousin.

Yep, I can really pick ’em. Stay tuned for my next post for the rest of the story. Krystal is gonna help out with it too.

So This Is Me

Hi all, my name is Krystal and I’m new to this blog. I’ve known about this blog since Bobbie first starting posting on it. She told me about it and I checked it out. I found out quite a bit about my cuz that I didn’t know. Shocker. It’s true that we were never really close before we ended up with roles in the soap opera she calls Rebound, but we are family. Usually you hear things about what’s going on with everyone else. You didn’t really hear a lot about Bobbie though. We are from different branches of the family. My side is more vocal and I guess “ghetto”. Not me though, of course not.  Bobbie’s side is very conservative.

About me. I’m 25 years old. I work as a LPN at the hospital. I’m single, no children, living on my own. You would think things would be easy for me, but hell no. I find myself struggling alot and Bobbie has helped me out some, but she is having a hard time now too. I trying to make improvements to my life and going back to school is the first step for me. Bobbie has helped me there. She’s actually been really great to me and I’m thankful, but I need to grow up and do some things on my own.

I grew up in a very confused household. My parents were never married. My dad has not ever been a large part of my life. I do know who he is and he does know who I am, but we just don’t talk. My mom wasn’t a large part of my early years either. She had me young and had things that she wanted to do with her life and my grandmother took up the responsibility of raising me. She is the woman I call Momma. Most people believe that she is the woman who gave birth to me, but no she did not. In fact, she gave birth to my Uncle Joe three months before I was born.  Yep, my uncle and I are the same age.

Things were tight with money growing up and I wanted better than that when I finally became a grown up. That has not exactly happened yet. I’m not struggling so much that I’m begging for help, but things are hard. It’s my fault too. I think that since I’m not raising kids that I can spend my money on whatever I want. I can, but bills gotta be paid too. Shopping is just too addicting. I like going out with my girls too and you can’t always depend on guys to pay your way.

I’m dating, nothing serious yet. I do believe in true love, but not sure if it’s for me. I didn’t grow up around that. My Momma was a single mother. My mom was too when she got her act together, so is my aunt and majority of the women on my side of the family. I’m not used to having a good man in my life or around my family. Honestly, I don’t believe that they exist.  Just use them for what they are good for and let them move on cause they are going to anyway.

Bobbie tells me that this is wrong. Good men are out there, they are just hiding and you have to find them. She is on her little hunt now and tells me that I’m on my hunt as well. I don’t agree. I’m not looking for a man, I don’t think. Yes, I like male attention and enjoying spending time with them, but don’t think that married life is for me.

There is one man in my life that I find trustworthy, for the most part.  I’m gonna call him Hood, well everybody calls him Hood. He’s not your average hood boy, but likes to think that he is. He is also my best friend. We grew up together. He started out being friends with my Uncle Joe but I was always there that we became friends too. There has never been anything romantic between the two of us and I have never wanted there to be. He’s just a good guy that is there when I need him. And I’m there for him when he needs me, which is a lot. I’m the one who has to get these hos out his life when they get out of hand. But he my boy and I can do that.

That’s me, like my road sign says. Bobbie makes those by the way. Ty and I tell her what our posts are going to be about and she comes up with those little signs for us. I think they cute. She tends to go overboard with stuff though. Love her, but she gonna wear herself out. I think I’m gonna help her with that. The least I can do.

She Got My Back

 

Both those statements represent Ty and I well. We actually are that close. lol. No, neither of us has yelled out “I love you” in a crowded hall, but if I felt that Ty was having a bad day and needed to hear it, I would. I also know that she would do the same. We are there for each other. That we can count on.

In this entry I’m going to tell you guys a little about our friendship. Ty hasn’t gotten around to making a blog post yet so I’m using this post to introduce her a little. I’m fairly sure that I know Ty well enough that I could make a post on her behalf, but that would probably piss her off. She’s a grown woman and she can speak for herself.

We are both in our early thirties. Actually I won’t be 30 until next month, but I figure that it’s close enough that I can claim it. Ty is a couple of years older than me although there are times when she acts much older than that. (She’ll probably kill me for making that statement, but it’s true.)

I am a biracial female with an asian mother and a black father. Ty calls me blasian for short. Ty is a very down to earth white girl who got soul. She likes to joke that she is blacker than I am and it some cases that may very well be true. I mean look at her name, Tywanda, where the hell did that come from? Of course my name is no better. Bobbie Jo isn’t my real name it’s actually more complicated and I rarely use it. My dad started calling me Bobbie Jo when I was a baby and the name has stuck.

I am not saying that Ty is a white girl trying to be black. If you knew her you would now that this is not the case. And I am not a black girl trying to be white. I am who I am and don’t feel that I need to validate myself to anyone. So this is an inside joke between us. It may come up a few times during our postings. But I am not your stereotypical black girl, but in my experience few black women are. Life is not as you see it in a movie or a tv show (although there are times that my life can be classified as a soap opera).

I’ve already posted a bit about my relationship history. Never married (thank goodness) with two children, a daughter and a son. Ty has been married for about 11 years now, I think, and she has a young daughter. We both love being mothers and will do anything for our children, even stay in a bad relationship. I am currently single and trying to figure out this dating thing. Ty is in the process of re-evaluating her marriage. She may call it something different, but I’ll leave it to her to tell you.

We are both fairly successful women, at least in regards to our careers. We both work in the legal industry, but neither of us are lawyers. Ty may one day become one. She is in school working on that now. We work for different agencies/firms but are located in the same building different floors. We visit each other often, but not too often. We do have work to do.

We spend a lot of time together, if not in person via technology. Our children spend a lot of time together as well. We keep each other up to date on the goings on of our love lives, if you want to call it that. We go through a personal crisis at least once a week. So let’s say I’m just enjoying a day out with a possible love interest and Ty calls. I answer the phone. She’s fairly up to date on my plans and would not call unless it was an emergency. Please note that our emergencies may not be considered an emergency by others. If Ty says that she needs me then the date is over, plain and simple. We don’t cry emergency unless we mean it.

Guys have gotten upset about our friendship. If they can’t get over it then they aren’t the one for me. How can someone expect me to turn my back on the one person I know will be there for me when I need them? We’re just friends boys, not competition.

Yes, there have been times that we have had to clarify that we were not lesbians. I’m sure that this is true for many best friends. We are not touchy feely. Actually we rarely have reason to touch each other. I’m not a hugger, except with a man, and neither is she. I held her hand once, and that was while she was getting a tattoo. I’ve had no desire to hold her hand again. No offense, Ty.

Threesomes are a Hell No. If you are part of my life in any way you know that Ty is my bff. But when it comes to the bedroom activities she will never be a part of that. In the past 8 months I have had at least 4 guys ask me if I was into threesomes. No, I am not. And the next questions would be “What if it was with Ty?” No, hell no.

So in a nutshell that is our friendship. Truly the best of friends and nothing more. When you find that special someone you can talk to about anything you don’t let them go. Now, if I could just get a similar bond with a man and some serious physical/sexual attraction thrown in, I would be good.