Here’s Krystal!

 

This blog was intended as an outlet for Ty and myself. Ty was all excited about it in the preparation stage, but now that the blog is up and running she has gotten nervous about actually posting. She’s not running away, but she’s not as active as we intended.

Ty and I are the best of friends and we share everything with each other, but we are not the only people that we talk with. I don’t hide my problems from everyone, but I don’t make them public either. I have noticed that there are ladies everywhere that have similar issues to my own. It’s so easy talking to people who know exactly what you are going through or have a part in it in some way.

Krystal, our new author, is my cousin. We are a few years apart in age and we didn’t acutally know each other that well until about a year ago. True, we were aware of each other, we’re family, but other than family reunions we didn’t spend a lot of time together. And then something, no, someone happened. Krystal actually plays a big part in the play that was Rebound. It’s one hell of a story and we will tell it soon.

Krystal is different than Ty and I. She has never been in a serious relationship and for the most part enjoys being single. I can’t tell you much other than that. I’ll leave it for her to tell. Krystal has been making changes in her life as well and men play a big part.  Krystal is also an active blogger anyway and actually asked me if she could be a guest blogger. I’ve thought it over and decided to make her a permanent member of the blog. Yes, I talked it over with Ty and she agreed.

Krystal and I have gotten fairly close over this past year and actually have regular date on Thursday nights. She comes over and I make us some drinks. We usually vent about our week and tell about our weekend plans. I usually don’t have any, but she always does. Yeah, I get jealous sometimes.

So, without further ado, here’s krystal…

(I’m sure she’ll make a post soon. lol.)

I’m Only Human

You’re a real bitch, Ty! I love ya anyway. From Ty’s last post, I’m thinking that I didn’t make myself clear enough. Yes, I know what I am doing is wrong. I also know that if I sat here and actually thought about it and thought about his wife that I would be overwhelmed with guilt. I refuse to do that though. Things are hard enough as it is. I don’t need to make it worse. For that reason I want to know nothing about the wife. If I don’t personalize her I can’t relate to her. I am completely wrong in this and I accept my part of the blame.

I do know what it feels like to be the woman who has a man who cheats on her. It was horrible when I found out, especially the way I found out. Ty tells me that I am crazy for not wanting to beat the hell out of the woman who was sleeping with my man. Quite frankly I didn’t care that much about her. She was not the person that I was in a relationship with. I focused all my anger on the person who deserved it, my ex. Although right now I can’t stand her, not because of my ex but because she is crazy as hell. She deserves a post all her own, maybe two.

So yes, I ought to be ashamed of myself for what I am doing. I am ashamed of myself for this. I keep it all secret, well except for Ty. We keep each other’s secrets. That’s why we have to be friends forever. If we aren’t, one of us would have to kill the other. We know shit that shouldn’t be floating out there for the public to find out about.

Like me, Ty is also human. I know how miserable she has been. I have been there through it all. LazyBoy is actually a pretty decent guy, he just sucks at being a husband. He has absolutely no clue on the hell that he is putting Ty through. They are so distant from each other that we’ve gotten to the point that Ty and I no longer recognize the marriage. By law they are husband and wife, but in reality they are two strangers. There have been times that I have actually forgotten about him.

I know what it is like to be in a miserable relationship. I remained faithful to my ex throughout our entire relationship, but I never had a man to pay me special attention. If I had, I may have strayed as well. But I was a horrible mess during my relationship. Nobody wanted me.

Okay, I need to stop that. It’s really depressing. I have moved on from that. I’m on my search for happiness and there is no time to go back for something that I don’t need nor want. So I continue on. I’ll make more mistakes on the way, this is unavoidable. But one day I will finally reach my destination.

Men Are Stupid

I guess the title of this post tells it all. I’m not saying that men are stupid intellectually. I’m saying they are stupid emotionally. It took me such a long time to realize this myself. For years I thought that I was the problem. What a relief it was to find out that I wasn’t.

I spent 9 years in a happy relationship. lol. Let me correct that. I spent 9 years in a relationship that I made everyone around me was happy. In truth, I was the most miserable person I knew. I knew within the first few months that he wasn’t the one for me, but I was determined to make it work. Why? I was pregnant. And this was my second pregnancy. I already had a toddler and now I was gonna have another baby. I was only 23 years old. I had already disappointed my parents once. I was not about to do that again.

So I punished myself for years because I didn’t want to be a disappointment to my parents. I was raised right. I made great grades in school and worked to pay my way, but for some reason I couldn’t make sure that a condom was used every time I had sex. Not only was I a disappointment I was stupid as hell. The situation only gets worse and when I say worse I mean that seriously. No woman should live through what I did, but I’m not going to get into that now.

So after years of misery I was finally out of the relationship. I finally put myself first. Also I finally had a friend that I could be completely honest with, although I did not always tell her everything that had happened. But Ty was there for me through it all. I don’t know how I ever would’ve made it through it without her support.

I also learned that I have horrible judgment in men. I went from a bad situation to a bad situation. It didn’t take me long to start dating. My problem was that I didn’t realize how much other people lie, especially a man who is trying to get something from you. From my experience, this is either sex or money. At one point I thought that I was in control but soon learned that I was wrong. The problem was that I tend to get emotionally involved and the men that I have met taught me that I shouldn’t expect the same from them.

Here I go just ranting away. I can talk about my individual experiences for hours. Ty will agree, my life has turned into a soap opera. But back to what I was trying to say. Men do not think the same way that we do and the definitely don’t do what we want them to do. I have not yet figured out their thought process but I’m going to continue working on that. I need to know why they don’t call you back when they say that they will and when they finally call you back the next day or days later they act like nothing’s wrong. And why do some men insist on starting a text message conversation with you and decide that the conversation is over without informing you. I had texting a guy and asking him a question only to have him take hours to respond or not responding at all.

Whew, let me stop now. Ty and I have lots of experiences to share with you all. Both past experiences and present ones. We tend to be scattered in our thoughts sometimes and go through our personal crisis situations. One thing that Ty and I are both in agreement about is that Men Are Stupid. I’m sure that many other women feel the same way.

So I’m just warning you all up front that you will hear us say this all the time. Men Are Stupid. If we were musically inclined we would put it to music.

Join Us on the Road

Hi, all. My name is Bobbie Jo. A while back my best friend, Tywanda, and I decided that we were going to have control of our lives. Well, that’s not quite true. We both do have control of our lives, just not our relationships. No, we don’t mean controlling our significant others, although I happen to think that Tywanda is doing that pretty well. We mean being truly happy in our love lives, finding that perfect match for us and it actually being real.

Ty and I have only been bff for a couple of years now, but there is no one that I have ever trusted more. I am lucky to have found someone that I can truly be myself with. The funny thing is that the two of us have known each other for years but never took the time to get to know each other better. But one day our jobs forced us to spend some actual time with each other and our friendship was born over lunch, the best grilled chicken pasta, ever.

So we started our friendship with each of us thinking that the other person was happy. But we soon came to the realization that this was not true. We are both successful, professional business women. We are both great mothers (not bragging, this is just true). We are both very likable people. But we were both so unhappy in our relationships. The both of us also thought that we were stuck that way. Not necessarily true.

We are both very research minded so it was natural for us to start researching how to improve our relationships. But that wasn’t really what we were looking for. We wanted to know how to improve ourselves. We are both deserving of the perfect lifemate, but we were settling for a lot less. We needed to be more confident in who we were. We learned that women who are confident are sometimes perceived as bitches. And we embraced that. That is what we wanted for ourselves, to become true bitches.

We wanted to be women who knew what they wanted and refused to accept anything less. We are not quite there yet. To tell you the truth, we may have gotten a bit lost. We have spent so much time speaking with each other about our journey and what we may or may not be doing wrong. Sometimes we have these absolute moments of clarity that we want to share with others. We have moments of stupidity too. We figured that other women could learn from our stories, our victories, and our mistakes (believe me, we make lots of them). So that is how this blog was born. We are inviting others to join us on our journey to Bitch, on the road to true bitchdom.

Disclaimer: Feel free to comment and give advice/direction. We can’t and won’t promise that we will follow them. We are not perfect women and we know that everything we do may not be right. You can make your opinions of us (we know that we can’t prevent that) but don’t bother judging us. We judge ourselves enough. When your heart is involve you sometimes do stupid things.

So with all that said, let the road trip begin!!!