Bringing Sexy Back. Ha!

lol. Sexy is most definitely not me. It has never been. There is no bringing back of something that was never there. But I figured that I could at least pretend that I had it.

So, I’ve told you a bit about my bad relationship with my ex, the conversations with some guys online, and a hint of the disaster that was Rebound. Believe it or not, there is still a lot that I haven’t told you guys yet.

Around the time that I decided that I could no longer remain with my ex I started working on myself. I was not happy with myself and knew that I needed to start being happy with me. I changed my eating habits, I started working out and getting more active. I didn’t notice much change while I was still with the ex, but once he moved out the weight just seemed to fall off. I got new clothes to go with the new body. I got a great new haircut that I loved. I was wearing my hair short for the first time in my entire life. Oh, and I started wearing make up. With my complex skin color it was difficult finding the perfect match. But I did and I look decent. I’m pleased with myself. I hadn’t been able to say that in a long time.

So during the period of Rebound I got a bit lonely. Rebound wasn’t there for me majority of the time. I had Ty, sure, but I wanted some male companionship. I almost never saw him and he rarely called or texted. I should’ve known better than to get involved with someone who was already involved with someone else, but I got overwhelmed with his charm. For a while that was enough for me, but when he started to get distant (which was almost immediately) I started to get frustrated. I put up with a lot from him too, but I finally got out.

I got lonely waiting on Rebound and started my online conversations again. For the most part it was just harmless fun. I hated that guys just tried to start stuff with you so they could get you into bed. I’m sorry but “when I’m gonna hit that?” is not a conversation starter if you are actually trying to be serious. But I got to practice my flirting and my kick ass attitude. The conversations with the guys never lasted long. They would let you string them along for a little while, but if you weren’t going to put out and they figured this out, they were gone.

This is the period that my ABC boys came to be. There were a few who actually appeared to be serious and we had some great conversations. I was actually up to meeting a few of them, but I was not about to travel a great distance to meet a guy. It’s funny how the guys who are close to you won’t talk to you, but guys who lived hours away couldn’t leave you alone. But these guys that were serious maybes had names that began with C. All of them.

One of them caught my attention more than the others. Charmer was my favorite of the C’s. He was a single father of three. He divorced from him wife and fought for custody and won and was now raising the three of them on his own. I thought that was sexy as hell. He was also just the nicest guy. He was always there to talk to and actually worried about me and my kids. He never once pressured me about meeting him. Sex as never the main topic of any of our conversations. I really liked him.

I liked Charmer enough to meet him. I didn’t want him to come to my place or even my city, just incase he wasn’t what I expected. I definitely didn’t want to go to his place. So we decided on a halfway point. It was a nice enjoyable visit. Ty was even around for back up. There is more to the story, but I’ll save it for it’s own post. I didn’t want anything serious with Charmer, but I have kept him around. Like I said, he’s a real nice guy.

I had also gotten real serious into social networking, especially facebook. I enjoyed talking with people I hadn’t seen in a long time and even new people that I have never met before. I got a few ABC boys there as well. I’ve tried seeing guys from the other end of the alphabet but that has not worked out quite yet. It was through facebook that I saw Brad again. I decided not to give him a nickname because he has a fan club, mainly Ty. From that Team Brad was born.

Most importantly, not really, facebook brought an old flame back into my life. D or Punk Bitch as I may sometimes call him was the guy I was dating before I dated my ex. I actually broke things off with D to be with the ex. A big mistake as it turned out. D and I started with text messages to each other and then I learned that he actually lived in the same city as me. We met and he basically hooked me. It happened fast so naturally it is wrong. So much history between us. My fault in thinking that was a good thing.

And don’t let me forget Taken 1 and Taken 2. I’m sure that their code name tells the whole story there. Close enough anyway. Nothing serious can ever happen with either one of them, but I still can’t seem to let them go.

So those are the top players in this game of “Sexy Back”. Yes there are others. They come and go often. I’ve left myself open to the possibility that my top players may not be the one for me. In truth I know that they are not the one for me, but I enjoy talking to them and spending time with them. I enjoy play time with them as well, at least some of the time.  

I do not consider myself sexy, but with these guys I forget that. That’s probably a huge part of the reason that I continue to let them all stick around. They play with my emotions some, but I’m fairly sure that all men will play with my emotions. If they are going to do it to me I might as well return the favor. I’m sounding confident but I’m actually not quite there yet. I’m a simple girl looking for true love and I’ve determined that I’ll have to play the game until I meet the man who realizes that the game is bullshit. If I’m gonna play I might as well play to win.

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