Wasting My Time


I have decided to tell you guys a bit about Taken 1 since he has pissed me off tonight. Sometimes he’s just a great guy, but most of the time he’s an ass. So why the hell do I keep him around? The sex is pretty damn good, kinda hard to give up. His crap I could do without. But that could be partially my fault.

I met Taken 1 at work. I spend most of my days surrounded by lawyers and various court officers so when I saw him in the waiting room of the firm dressed up real nice in a suit I assumed he was just another lawyer. I was wrong. He wasn’t a client either. Taken 1 was the buddy of one of one of the new lawyers in the firm. They were going out to lunch together. Anyway, I was on my way  back into my office after a pretty tough family dispute meeting.

As usual I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going. I knew the way to my office and I just assume that everyone will move out my way. Well, on this particular day this ass didn’t move. I don’t remember the guy who ran into me at all, but Taken 1 picked up my things for me. We had a very pleasant conversation, but that was it.

A couple of days later while working in the office I get a phone call from Taken 1. I was working on a community project and needed sponsors to help fund it. It was something new that the firm wanted to taken on to look good in the community, but the firm didn’t want to fund the thing entirely on it’s own. Taken 1 is a financial advisor and he offered his firm as a sponsor. Very nice. Sometime during this process we exchanged cell phone numbers.

It started out as a little bit of harmless flirting. It was fun and he was so sweet. There was nothing sexual about it at all. But I started to like him and the conversations got a little more personal. Then it all came to an end. The event was over and there was no reason for us to be talking to each other.

Of course I didn’t forget about him. I waited a good month before I located him on FB. This was when I learned that he was married. Damn. I sent him a friend request anyway. I figured that I wouldn’t hear back from him. I was wrong. He messaged me by the next day. And we were back to flirting innocently on the phone. And then it became more.

He asked me once what I was expecting from him cause he was not trying to get into anything with anybody. At the time I wasn’t really looking for anything. I really liked talking to him. He was married and that made him off limits. So we agreed, we were buddies. So there it was football season and I wasn’t doing anything one night and neither was he so we decided to watch a game together. I’ll have you guys know that I am a serious football fan. I like basketball okay and baseball a little more than that. But football was some serious stuff.

There we were watching a good game and enjoying each other’s company. We talked a bit during the game and I was comfortable with him. I’m not sure when things started to change but at one point he was just sitting there staring at me. So I stopped and looked back. I asked him if something was wrong and we shared our first kiss. A very nice kiss. He’s a good kisser, a fantastic kisser.

So, there is thing about me. Once I’m in the mood I can’t get out of it. Hell, things got hot and heavy real quick. And then we were in my bedroom. All I can say is “Wow”. A little side note. Before my ex, my experience with sex wasn’t that great. Sex with my ex is pretty damn awesome. I hated loosing that, but turns out that sex with others is pretty darn good too. And sex with Taken 1 was fantastic.

Yes, I am disappointed that I would cross that line with a married man. There is no sugar coating any of it. I am wrong for what I am doing. I reason that I am not the one who is cheating, and technically I am not. I am not the one in a committed relationship. I am not the one who is married, he is. I also know that if he is so willing to cross this line with me, he is willing to cross it with someone else. So I distance myself from it. I know nothing of his wife and I ask no questions about her.  I don’t want to know. I will only torture myself with that information. I’m a horrible person, I know, but the sex is pretty damn fantastic.

So now I am a married man’s mistress. You watch tv and see how great these mistresses have it . I know that my ex treated his girl on the side pretty good too. She had most of his time and attention. I don’t get that with Taken 1. I don’t expect to have all his time and attention. I don’t want it. Like they say he’s a man who will cheat on his wife and he will always be the man who will cheat on his wife.

I didn’t need to be in a serious relationship with that. I didn’t want him as my man, but if we were going to be lovers he could at least give me a little attention. Make me want to be his lover. Men work hard to get the girl, but once they get her they don’t put the effort into it anymore. That does not work for me. If you can’t give me the attention I need I can’t give you mine. That’s fair.

The last time Taken 1 came over to my place it was simply a booty call. He failed to make conversation. He just came in got what he wanted an left. I’m sorry, but I don’t like being treated that way and I told him so. He had some making up to do. He actually attempted to make it up to me a bit, but he sucks at that. So I don’t hear from him for days at a time. That is not acceptable. He could at least say hi.

He has the nerve to get upset with me because I have not called him either. I was the last one to text him. He has yet to answer my question. Why would I text him if he was ignoring me. I’ve just been waiting. It usually takes him two days to break down and finally text me. I gave him a peice of my mind. He promised to make it up to me.

I have been tellingnhim that I could not meet with him. I didn’t have anything else going on, but I wanted him to know that I’m not going to just lay down and open my legs because he wants me to. If he wants to see me so badly, he’s going to have to prove it. So today I finally agree to see him. I made it clear that we would not be having sex at this visit. I kept both my kids with me today to assure that nothing happened. He agreed, said that he only wanted to see me, but he would need some loving from me soon.

He was a no show. Never even texted to let me know that he was not coming. I texted him to ask him if he changed his mind. He tells me yes and that something came up. Thanks for letting me know before hand so I wouldn’t waste my time waiting on him. I told him that I didn’t appreciate that and I have been ignoring him since. If you can’t make the time (10 seconds) to tell me that you couldn’t make it to see me then I can’t make the time to see you period.

I have been through this before with him already and I always take him back. It’s encouraging to me that he actually keeps coming back to me, but it bothers me that he continues to treat me this way. I’m obviously not playing this part of the game right. I need to redo my game plan. I should just drop him all together, but like I said, the sex is fantastic. I should walk away. I just can’t find the strength to do so right now, but I’ll be damned if a man is going to treat me like a piece of ass. Yes, I do know that maybe all that I am to them, but they are no more than a dick to me. But I am high class ass and should be treated accordingly if you want me to share my goodies with you. Gotta work on this game plan.

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6 Responses to Wasting My Time

  1. Skylar Hope says:

    It sounds like there is a MAJOR lack of respect for you as far as this guy goes and you deserve way better than to be some guy’s chick on the side. I get that the physical aspect is great but if he’s that much of a prick, does he even deserve a handshake, much less sex?

  2. Is Kelli Wright? says:

    Honestly, it amuses me that you will ignore him for treating you badly but you won’t give your fellow woman, the mans wife, the same respect. I’m not bashing you because I’ve had a tryst with a married man or two but what helped me to stop was being on the other side of the fence and realizing, how would I feel if some homewrecker came and did to me what I’m doing to these women.

    On the flip side, great sex is great sex and like you reason, you’re not the one cheating, he is. I’d only say that you need to seperate some of your feelings and play his game as his equal (in other words, think and act like a man). Don’t bring him around your children (BIG ASS NO NO) and when he doesn’t text and call, don’t express your feelings to him, just don’t call or text back for the same period he did to you. Drives em crazy. Good luck but if I’m reading between the lines, you have a heart and he’s gonna break it!

    • Bobbie Jo says:

      I can’t think about her. It would personalize the whole thing for me. I have been the other woman and it’s not very pleasant if you actually love the man.

      I don’t feel as if I’m emotionally attached to him. Actually I don’t think about him much at all. I’m a bit complicated at times and I do have some reasoning for it all. Maynot make since to everyone else though.

      • Is Kelli Wright? says:

        You don’t feel you’re emotionally attached but I’m going 2 give you 2 big red flags that you will eventually become attached:

        1. “He asked me once what I was expecting from him cause he was not trying to get into anything with anybody. At the time I wasn’t really looking for anything. I really liked talking to him”

        *You state that “at that time” you weren’t looking for anything…what about now? Your use of past tense makes me feel like you’re saying “but now I’m ready for something more concrete” Maybe not with him but he is there and sex is involved which in most cases causes feeling in th woman.

        2. “I know nothing of his wife and I ask no questions about her. I don’t want to know. I will only torture myself with that information.”

        *If you truly were just having a sexual liason, as many homewreckers will tell you, you often discuss the wife. You become an outlet for whatever frustration he has with her and you’re okay with that reality. The fact that you refuse to face the reality by saying over and over that you don’t want to “personalize” it is actually personalizing it for you more. Without realizing it, you’re allowing your mind to see him as a single man instead of facing the reality that this is strictly a booty call situation.

        3. I didn’t have anything else going on, but I wanted him to know that I’m not going to just lay down and open my legs because he wants me to. If he wants to see me so badly, he’s going to have to prove it.

        *What do you mean ur not goin to lay down and open ur legs? That’s exactly what you’re doing! The whole point of being sexual buddies is to provide sexual relief, on ur back when he needs it. You cannot be concerned with communication and the “nicities” of normal relationships when you profess you feel nothing for him. You show several times through your post that you don’t want to be treated like a piece of meat and want a man to have “personal” convos with, yet, you claim this will never go farther than sexual?

        *I believe you are becoming emotionally invested in this man. All situation are complicated but I assure you it’s often us as women, who complicate them. If you truly want a sex only situation, then you need to say everytime you look at him, “he is married and off limits and here fore sex.” If you can’t face that…then you’re setting yourself up for failure…plus, you’ve also admitted it’s hard to call off…which means investment…lol.

        I feel like you’re my friend, that’s why I typed this thesis statement. Men always play games and hurt vunerable women so the key is to not be vunerable!

      • Bobbie Jo says:

        Ok. There is some serious re-evaluating that I’m going to have to do. It’s great that you will tell me these things cause i do need to hear them. True, I hear a lot from Ty as well, but my problem is I tend to ignore things. There are times that I talk a good game, but it’s just a load of crap. I find my self pretending to be the woman that I want to be, but not quite actually being her.

        Yes, I am an emotional basketcase, and strangely there are times that I’m emotionally cold. It helps me to be able to do my job, but it usually does not rub off on my relationships. There I am a wreck. I am able to shut myself off in situations that do not involve me, but once I get involved I take it all very seriously. So yes, I get very emotional about dating and sometimes I just don’t care. Taken 1 is not the man I want to be with. I know who I want to be with but I don’t think that will work out either. I haven’t gotten around to discussing our relationship yet.

        Again, thank you for all this. I’m going to try to explain things a bit better in my next post or two posts. So much to say. I know where I want to go, just can’t quite figure out how I’m going to get there.

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